Reader Mack Hitch sent us a news item from Denver, where the rarified high-altitude atmosphere seems to be getting to some citizens. A woo-woo vendor named David Stevens is a "Home clearer" who helps real-estate agents by erasing those dreaded negative vibes from properties that aren't selling... Last Monday, Re/Max City Horizon broker Steve Kinney, in his experienced wisdom, summoned guru Stevens to dissipate the negative energy from a new home in the Berkeley neighborhood, vibes that came from the "resentment seeping in from the older property next door." Makes perfect sense, don'tcha think...?
Stevens is the owner of "Yoga of the Mind." He mystically waved his hands, clearing the way for the house to sell. The home had been completed in November, and the developer hadn't had a single offer on it, a sure sign of clogged-up evil vibes. Broker Kinney had purchased these magical gestures several times previously, paying the hand-waver $100 to $200 to have a home "cleared."
We've heard before of the brand-new ancient tradition of burying a cheap statue of St. Joseph in the front yard of a home that's being offered for sale, and feng shui consultants say they're being called in as well, to make sure that evil forces aren't being trapped in crevices or corners of resistant homes. So, in Denver, you should be sure that your real estate agent is thoroughly woo-woo, or you'll get vibes all over you... Even Ann Atkinson, an agent with Fuller Sotheby's International Realty, started using the woo-woo services about a year ago, and actually believes that this hocus-pocus helps her sell real estate. Hey, she has evidence: a pair of elderly clients moved into an assisted-living facility last May, the magic waves were performed last November, and the house sold just a few weeks ago. Direct cause-and-effect, as you can see!
Said Ms. Atkinson,
It may be coincidence, but it's happened more than once. If it's coincidence, I want to keep having those coincidences.
Hey, you can't fool Kinney or Atkinson, can you? They're both just chock-full of common sense and rationality. The only thing that concerns me is that these people also get to vote...