Here in Florida, we were shaken by charges that were brought against both a Delray Beach police officer and a “psychic,” on federal fraud, money-laundering and other matters stemming from a scam in which elderly and seriously ill people were told by the psychic that they could be cured by magical means – she would pray over their money, but of course it had to be taken from the bank and handed over to the psychic. This is a basic gypsy scam, and has been successfully played thousands of times all over the world for at least two centuries.

Over an eight-year period, police said, this pair took in more than $1 million. The 64-year-old detective, Jack M. Makler, worked in cahoots with Linda Marks, who advertised her services in the newspapers; when Makler was assigned to handle complaints issued against Marks, he actually assisted her in the fraud by fumbling and devaluing the complaints, and arranged to launder the money she stole from the victims. He also lied on three separate occasions to federal investigators when questioned about his involvement, U.S. Attorney R. Alexander Acosta said, adding:

This office and our law-enforcement partners will not tolerate those who attempt to benefit at the expense of the sick and elderly, nor will we tolerate public corruption of any kind.

The Delray Beach Police Department said that no telephone listing could be found for Marks, but she has been arrested and sued previously for alleged psychic scams. Her lawyer said that he had advised her to cooperate in the investigation, but she declined his counsel. He said that Marks is ''unsophisticated'' and may have been duped in the case, and he believes “she is a victim in many respects.'' Really? To work such scams, even with the help of a friendly detective to make problems go away, takes a certain degree of sophistication, friends. You don’t play the violin by accident or without training and/or practice. This woman knew what she was doing.

We’re told that if there are convictions on all counts, the maximum sentence for Makler adds up to 265 years in prison, while that for Marks totals 345 years. We’ll see what the court decides. Stay tuned….

WHITHER ESTONIA?

Reader Elver Loho in Estonia wrote us about the situation in his country:

Unfortunately there isn't an active skeptics society here and the situation is so bad, that we get horoscopes and "cosmograms" as part of the daily TV news shows, and all kinds of witches and people with pendulums get way too much space in the news. Every Thursday night on TV3 here in Estonia there is a show called “Kahvel.” (”Kahvel” being “Fork” in Estonian.) It’s a weekly live talkshow where two hosts, Hannes Võrno and Kiur Aarma talk to various guests on various topics. It used to be interesting and worth seeing, but nowadays, well, it’s not nearly as good as it used to be.

On the December 1st show they had a very special guest, a woman, in her 50s or 60s, who claims that she’s able to see auras and energy transfers and heal with the power of her mind – the usual whacky claims made by whacky people. There’s no proof for such claims and after years and years of studies, most rational people have concluded that it’s all just bullshit. Her most original claim, however, was that she had a “magnetic body.” She was able to stick things to her body and they would stay there as if by some force of magic. To demonstrate this she first stuck two forks to the skin of her breasts and they did indeed stick there. As if by magic. Or, well, magnetism.

But no, she was capable of much more than just that. She managed to stick a glass block weighing 17.65kg [40 lbs.] to her boobs, and it stayed there! Not vertical by far, and kinda held there by her chin, but it stuck there. As if by magic! Oh, wait, magnets are not attracted to glass… Err… Suddenly she changed her claim, to having biomagnetic powers. Yeah, that’s it! Biomagnetism explains it! One of the hosts, Hannes, even tried to pull an object off her, and according to him, it felt like pulling a fridge magnet off a fridge. Wow. It must be true, then!

Their next guest was a chemist and he offered the explanation that the biomagnetic woman actually has rare, sticky skin. As an experiment he suggested putting a sheet of paper between her skin and some object. But, no, “That’s not how it works! It’s biomagnetism, after all!” Sigh.

What do the people tested for the claim of magnetism have in common? They all have very sticky skin. That’s it. No magnetism, no super secret forces going around doing strange things to objects nearby. Just very sticky skin. Some people simply fail to realize it. Or, perhaps, they realize it and still advertise it as magnetism. Hey, who would you rather pay to see: someone with a magnetic body or someone with really sticky skin? Hm? I thought so.

Sure enough, I sent the [Randi] link to the producers of the talkshow. I added the link and instructions from Randi: prior to the experiment wash their skin and/or put talcum powder on it. They didn’t reply and failed to do either. Instead, the bit about the magnetic woman in the following week’s show was an even bigger farce. They took her not to a skin doctor, but to a physicist. The physicist measured her body for anomalous electric and magnetic fields — none present — and made sure that she’s not radioactive in any visible frequency through the use of filters. Conclusion? Tests were inconclusive. We lack the tools to study her in a more detailed fashion. Taking a woman with sticky skin to a physicist is like taking a broken car to a piano tuner. It makes no sense whatsoever.

I’m sure that “Kahvel” is just after better ratings. Pissing people off is a good way to polarize the viewers. Either they like you or they hate you. And, as Howard Stern has shown, even the people who hate you will be tuning in — after all, they want to see what you do next.

PAT IN TROUBLE

Our friend John Atkinson sends us this:

From: ideas.4brad.com/node/303

Washington, DC: The American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) issued a stern warning today to Televangelist Pat Robertson. Robertson had recently condemned the citizens of Dover, PA to the wrath of God for not voting in a school board that would teach Intelligent Design in classes. "We'd like to say to the good Reverend Robertson: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to Science, you just rejected it from your life," AAAS said on its daily television show broadcast from Washington, the 3.14159 Club.

"And don't wonder why it hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. We're not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just pushed science out of your life. And if that's the case, don't ask for its help because it might not be there," they said. "In particular, you won't have a phone to call the ambulance, and it won't exist even if you could call it. And even if the doctor lived next door and you could call her, she would only bleed you and put smelly poultices on your forehead to balance your humors. And she would be a guy."

"Actually, we're just kidding," the AAAS later corrected. "Science works whether you believe in it or not. That's what's really cool about it," they said.

"What they said," indicated Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, in an independent statement.

OFFICIAL UFO LANDING PAD IN CANADA

Reader Dr. E. Klimek MD, of St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada, comments on last week’s item on the UFO landing site in his country:

I am no longer amazed. We really get the government we want and deserve.

In 2005 in Ontario, 30% do not currently complete high school, 25% believe there is a conspiracy to withhold a cure for cancer, and that industrial conglomerates have suppressed a 200-mile-per-gallon engine carburetor, and there is a landing pad for UFOs in Alberta.

The USA has a president who recommends we devote time, resources and talent on rocket fuel propelling humans to Mars because "it's a good thing" (reference Martha Stewart). Simultaneously a course at the University of Kansas, "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies," has been cancelled. The religious-studies professor who was to teach the course, was stopped by two men on a rural road and beaten.

Meanwhile north of 40, in Ontario Mr. Smitherman (Minister of Health and Long term Care) announced that he will regulate traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and the provision of "care" by acupuncturists. At least Mr. McGuinty (Premier of Ontario) went beyond high school, although he suggested Canadian passports be replaced by drivers licenses. Unbeknownst to him, the day before the auditor of the province divulged that 50,000 Ontario license are unaccounted for. But, hey, he's a photogenic attorney, not some Einstein type of guy.

IN THE NEWS

Here’s what former KGB chief Vladimir Kryuchkov, who also headed the Soviet secret service for 17 years, said in an interview with Pravda. He was asked what the KGB knew about such matters as UFOs and claims of other supernatural phenomena. The woo-woo element around the world found it convenient to claim that the highly secretive KGB held basic secrets about the subjects they dearly wanted to be established, and just couldn’t reveal those matters. Now, that picture has changed, with Kryuchov’s statement. Asked, “Are there any UFOs out there?” he replied:

We have never received any proof whatsoever that UFOs or other supernatural phenomena actually exist. The authorities asked me many times to prove or refute reports of this or that inexplicable incident on the planet. Most frequently, I received requests concerning UFOs and yetis, the “snow people.” I would commission our best specialists and agents to find out where the reports that worried society so much, came from. In the end it always turned out to be pure imagination. Sometimes an ignorant observer would interpret an unfamiliar phenomenon in a mystical way, sometimes a perfectly ordinary event would be called supernatural, to make news. Often the people would add that the KGB knew about the supernatural phenomenon, but wanted to keep it secret.

With full responsibility I have to state — never, ever, during the long period of my work with the intelligence service, was anything really supernatural spotted, either in Russia or in any other country. When I say “other country,” I rely on information from the highest officials, military, research, and of course the intelligence agencies of foreign states.
The point is, in every “important” country, presidents, prime ministers and secret service chiefs requested investigations into resident abnormal incidents. And in every case, in each country, competent people would give one and the same answer — no. I have personally read copies of these reports. I finally came to the conclusion that, for better or for worse, there is nothing supernatural on the Earth.

Kryuchkov was then hit with a specific question about the “sacred fire” that is said to be magically produced annually in a temple in Jerusalem. He answered:

I’m afraid I must disappoint you. It is just smart work, or if I may say so, a trick of the local clergymen. It has nothing to do with the divine powers. I could go further and say that our KGB researchers could organize a couple of miracles in Moscow that would totally outshine the Jerusalem fire. But this would mean playing games with believers’ religious feelings. This is utter disrespect, relying on their ignorance of some natural phenomena and secret scientific inventions.

Then Mr. Kryuchkov exhibited good common sense and a rational approach that we might not always expect in a government authority:

However, I do not rule out the possibility of us having neighbors in the endless depths of space. Space abounds with various life forms, but of course they have nothing in common with the stories that incompetent researchers and mentally ill people tell us. Actually the only accident that inspired serious theories was that of the Tunguska meteorite….

Yes, and rightly so. That amply-established 1908 event appears to be the record of the impact of a meteorite or a comet mass in Siberia that left behind a huge area of destruction. And, it could – and will – happen again. Kryuchkov was next asked if his superiors had told him to get information about the Tunguska comet from the U.S. He responded:

No. Because there was not a single clue to start from. If we’d had something, we would have tried to investigate, but we didn’t. And neither did the U.S., nor any other country.

By the way, the Americans tried conducting so-called “parapsychology experiments,” but made no progress. Neither did our own research institutes in this respect, although we also conducted some research… There are more exaggerations than achievements here.

More precisely, no discoveries at all, and this with the efforts of the KGB’s best, most extraordinary thinkers. This is a field that generations can explore for years, and still discover nothing. So you have to be careful when approaching it, and give no promises to anybody, but persistently continue the research. Then maybe you can answer some of the expectations by revealing something new.

To the believers, all this will only be proof that Kryuchkov has been ordered to dis-inform the media and perpetuate the mythology they so much need and cherish. It was ever thus…

HOLY POTATO BATMAN!

John Mize, a law clerk from Crawley, West Virginia, has come upon yet another variation of the lucrative Christ-on-a-tortilla, Mother-Teresa-on-a-bun, Virgin-Mary-on-a-grilled-cheese-sandwich, Doritos-chip-pope’s-hat, racket. John recently found a Funyun – that’s a sort of reconstituted onion-flavored fried potato ring – under his car seat. He decided that it’s shaped like the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus, enough so that it went on E-bay and sold for $609.

Now, think about this for a moment, folks. Could you possibly have invented any of these food metamorphoses? I admit that I couldn’t. But let me set my mind a-wandering. How about a turnip that looks like Jerry Falwell, a pumpkin that says Sylvia Browne to anyone, or a wet tea-bag that resembles the head of John the Baptist?

THAT STUPID PATCH AGAIN

Reader Simon Cox had read the item at www.randi.org/jr/050605free.html#3 and recalled it when he heard a recent radio plug for the spurious product. He writes:

Firstly, thanks for Swift – it's been one of my weekly must-reads for as long as I can remember.

I hope you don't mind, but I used your name to lend weight to my complaint to the monkeys at talkSPORT radio (http://www.talksport.net/default.aspx) about Lifewave energy patches (as sported by England football captain David Beckham). Although it is a commercial, sport-based radio station, I still think it irresponsible that they broadcast what amounted to little more than an advertisement for Lifewave. I thought you might be interested to hear about it, especially if Lifewave are pushing their junk in the UK now. My e-mail to them read:

I am writing to comment on the discussion that Parry and Breen-Turner had last night with Lifewave's Director of European Affairs (I'm afraid I don't remember his name, so I will refer to him as “LWD” from here), following the revelation that David Beckham wears their patches to "increase his energy levels by 40%." LWD claimed that these patches work by enhancing the body's natural processes to burn more fat in mitochondria, but without imparting anything from the patch to the body. He said that nothing passes from the patch into the body. He stated that the patches are impermeable. Now, unless I'm much mistaken, that means that the supposed mode of action of these patches violates the laws of science!

When that happens, scientists tend to get very excited. If said new discovery is shown to be true, then the laws of science and their attendant theories must be altered to take the new discovery into account. Now, I don't recall reading anywhere recently that scientists have been forced to do this. Anecdotal evidence, endorsement from David Beckham and LWD’s statement that they are in use by a number of top American sportspeople does not indicate efficacy – only scientific testing proves efficacy. Remember, we all know that Beckham is not the sharpest tool in the box, and the fact that a number of top American sportspeople use them, is more of a reflection on their ignorance than the efficacy of the patches. Millions of people used to think the Earth was flat – but that doesn't mean that it was or is.

LWD also said that he couldn't explain how they worked without getting far too technical. I'd abbreviate that to just "he couldn't explain how they worked." And that is largely because they don't. You should always be very wary of anyone who can't explain how their product works, or who has to resort to waving their hands and saying "life vibrations...er...subdermal energy waves...uh, you know...biofrequencies" – words and phrases that don't actually mean anything.

Simon then suggested a complete double-blind protocol that could be used to test the Lifewave patch, if and when LWD would agree to do a test. He continued:

If the effect claimed can be demonstrated – that an impermeable patch can affect the body and increase energy by 40% without any interaction with the body – you might like to inform LWD that he is eligible to win the $1,000,000 prize offered by the James Randi Educational Foundation in America. More information is available here: www.randi.org/research/index.html. Incidentally, I expect LWD to come up with any number of excuses to get out of anything like this. If he does so, you should ask yourselves why he will not submit his products to proper scientific testing.

To conclude, I was very disappointed with the credulousness in which this segment was conducted – one of the presenters even attempted to explain the patches as similar to "placing magnets on a car to make the engine work more efficiently," which is so wrong in itself that I don't know where to begin. Con artists prey on the uninformed, and your program has done nothing to raise people's understanding of the true nature of these products. The general public is by and large not well-informed about science, so it is quite irresponsible for a national radio station to pass off rubbish such as this as fact. I'm sure you'll agree that most people have better and more important things to spend money on than worthless junk, yet every pound spent on these patches is a pound that could have been spent on something helpful or beneficial to them.

I have copied this e-mail to James Randi of the JREF, and Ben Goldacre, writer of the Guardian's Bad Science column, as I'm sure they'd find the claims of LWD amusing, and the fact that they are propagated unquestioningly by a national radio station, quite distressing.

ASTROLOGY = SCIENCE ON THE BBC

Reader Les Rose, with Pharmavision Consulting Ltd., in the UK:

Here's another snippet for the commentary. Our weekly national lottery draw includes a quiz show on BBC TV, and a contestant selected the category “science.” The question asked was about astrology. I complained to the BBC about this, but have been fobbed off with silly replies, the latest of which follows, from Gary Briggs, BBC Divisional Advisor for Information:

Thank you for your further e-mail regarding the National Lottery Jet Set. I am sorry you remain dissatisfied with the response you previously received. There is however little more we can add to the comments you received from my colleague Paul Hunter. I did however pass your comments on to Phil Parsons, Executive Producer for the program who has provided the following response:

I am sorry that you disagree with one of our category headings for in an episode of The National Lottery Jet Set. Subjects that fall under various category headings tend to be very wide ranging and are open to different interpretations by different people. I am sorry if you were offended by Astrology being placed in the Science category. However, I do not regard it as an error and therefore will not be able to “correct” it. I do agree that placing Astrology in the Science category was stretching it a bit and if the topic were to arise again it would probably be placed under a different category heading.

I hope this goes some way further to assuring you that we have taken your concerns on board.

Note the obfuscation and reluctance to come to grips with what is an obvious error and insult to the public the BBC serves. There are no “different interpretations” involved; calling astrology a science is like saying that a barber is a surgeon, or that a chimpanzee at a typewriter is a journalist. Simon concludes:

I am wondering how this sits with the BBC's public service charter – as you know it's a public body not a commercial broadcaster. Sometimes I despair of stemming the tide of New Age rubbish, but you and your organization give me strength to carry on!

Les, perhaps those who bet on the lottery – already, by definition, not well-informed on investments – prefer such a lunatic approach to the real world….?

ANOTHER FAILED TEST

From reader Max Fagin:

I live in Colorado Springs. You met my dad once, he teaches computer science at the Air Force Academy. His name is Barry Fagin. I'm a long-time supporter of the JREF, and I just went through an experience I hope you find encouraging.

I'm a senior in high school and have a freshmen friend who is, unfortunately, a "New Ager." She's a Tarot reader, a psychic in training, a crystal healer and an amateur witch. I have been hounding her relentlessly about the JREF and the million dollar prize, I even stuck an application to the inside of her locker! But she refused on the grounds of the usual "Its Not Meant to be Tested" and "The Money Doesn't Really Exist" arguments.

But just yesterday, I convinced her to undergo a test of her Tarot card abilities. She claimed to be able to sense the suit of a tarot card (Fire, Water, Matter, Air) through opaque barriers. I tested her by having her determine the suit of cards inside sealed envelopes. I had to leave the room when the actual test was conducted – my aura was intrusive, apparently – but I was allowed to watch through a window, and record the proceedings on video. The first thing I had her do was promise not to make excuses if she failed.

I gave her the first envelope and left the room. She went through a routine which included waving her hands above the envelope, tapping it with a crystal and muttering under her breath. Then she would write her prediction down and I would give her the next envelope. I had to keep all the unused cards with me, otherwise, she said, they would interfere with her abilities – ?

In the end, out of 40 cards, with an expected score of 10 by chance, she got 6 correct. We had agreed that 20 and above was evidence of paranormal abilities. How about that negative ESP! Now, even though I had her on tape saying she would not make excuses in the event of a failure, she blamed her results on the distracting noises coming from the hallway. Thanks to your wonderful article in The Skeptical Inquirer, I was prepared for this. I asked her to look in her pocket and (gasp!) there was an envelope! On it was written "You promised not to make an excuse, yet you just did. I predicted this long ago and should thus be awarded the million dollar prize for pre-cognition." She was, needless to say, embarrassed and I'm sure a little confused. Thanks for preparing me for such a situation!

I just wanted to let you know that there are people my age who support the things you do. I don't think we've won a convert, but I do think she will wait a while before giving a reading at the next meta-physics fair! Keep up the good work! We support you 100%!

IN CONCLUSION…

We’re accustomed to seeing the “if you have a moment, look at this” modifier, preceding a suggestion. I’ll eschew that, substituting, “make time to go here.” If you don’t, I’ll send back all your gifts, and the engagement is off. Just one click on one of the sound-bites to be accessed here, will convince you not only to tuck this location away in a safe place, but to distribute it widely. Go to http://beliefnet.com/story/178/story_17889.html and become thoroughly engrossed. It’s a good and renowned friend of the JREF, at his best – as if that need be said….

Also, this is your last chance to gain a seat at the table of Teller (of the famed Penn & Teller) as he joins you at brunch in his Las Vegas home this January. There is only a single seat left, and this once in a lifetime opportunity goes to the highest bidder. Will it be you? Details at http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6589511250

Table of Contents:

LOCAL NEWS