Strange Advice From a Psychic PDF Print E-mail
Swift
Written by Jeff Wagg   

fanSome so-called psychics will say that you'll meet a "tall dark stranger." Others might posit that someone with a name beginning with "M" will have an influence on your life. And now, at least one, will tell you to put your testicles in front of a fan.

Yes, it's true. Kim O'Neill has been declared "Best Psychic in Houston," and her channeled spirit or guardian angel... or something, has told her that a fan is the key to fertility.

And you know, there's some truth to that. But not a lot. You see, most mammals carry their testicles in an external pouch because sperm production functions best at temperatures below normal body temperature. A fan could help lower that temperature even further, so in theory, it could help boost sperm production. But read what her advice actually is:

One day I had a woman sitting in front of me in a private session. She said she thought she was infertile and wanted me to ask the guardian angels what it was. Her unborn baby was the one who gave me the information, and he told her that the thing derailing his conception was that Dad's sperm count was low, and it was because he was hot around his testicles. So the baby recommended that his future mother get a small plastic fan from Wal-Mart and have Dad sit under it and read a book or watch TV and let the air blow on his testicles for about 20 minutes or so -- it raises his sperm count. They were to have sex right afterwards. And she got pregnant.

So, the unborn and apparently unconceived baby used her to channel the information that Dad needs to cool down a bit. Ok, fair enough... except that sperm take 64 days to develop, and putting the chill on for 20 minutes probably isn't going to make much of an impact.  As for the unborn baby speaking to her, I guess she means the sperm cell, except that it would be undeveloped since the temperature was wrong. If she means the egg, how did the egg know that the sperm was being hindered by temperature?  Are eggs psychic too? And what's so special about Wal-Mart? Would a fan from Target do as well? (Maybe the kid is a Walton.) I'm so confused.

The comments on the link are witty and interesting, but Kim is apparently a little thin skinned. I'll let you read them for yourself.

Honestly... while I understand this from a blog called "Hair Balls" and not the main section of the Houston Press, is there no one on staff who could question this woman? Inquring minds want to know.