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Swift
Written by James Randi   

prophetFortunately, Utah "Prophet" Leland Freeborn has predicted that President-elect Obama will be prevented from taking his seat in the Oval Office due to a disaster. I say "fortunately," because this is as dependable as one of Sylvia Browne's predictions, though I see that she's now charging her followers a fee to know how wrong she is.  Mr. Freeborn is known as the "Parowan Prophet," and he's read 2 Peter 2:13 - that's a book in the Bible - that warns the naïve, apparently, about "riots."  I fail to see where riots in response to Obama's election come in, but Leland seems to. These riots, according to him, will encourage the remnants of the "old, hard-line Soviet guard" to fire nukes on the USA, taking out about a hundred million of us, which has to get our attention. The verse reads, in the King James version:

[These natural brute beasts] shall receive the reward of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the daytime. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you.

Umm, okay, but no cigar. Maybe the "New Revised Standard Version" of this book makes more sense? Let's see:

They count it as a pleasure to revel in the daytime. They are blots and blemishes reveling in their dissipation while they feast with you.

Duh. No improvement there, that I can see. Leland thinks

...they [the natural brute beasts?] may begin the riots before Christmas 2008 as I said. Some of the news media will say that riots are justified. Now you know how much God is offended and just plain fed-up with our stupid excuses for not keeping all of his commandments in your Bible. Many readers will remember the many letters form me warning people.

Well, Leland, I won't. I'm told that you've been handing out  little brown bottles of "iodide crystals to counter the effects of radiation," but I'm not going to worry much. Maybe Sylvia and Deepak Chopra will be peddling these bottles, which wouldn't surprise me a bit, since we know they're on the cutting edge of woo-woo technology...