[Editor’s Note: “Your Skeptic Stories” is an ongoing series written by readers like you, people who have, through one means or another, discovered skepticism and critical thinking. These stories remind us that we all started somewhere and some of us are still finding our way as skeptics If you are interested in contributing your own story, please submit your piece of around 1000 words to maria (at) randi.org along with a short 2-3 line bio.

Today’s story comes from Jay]

I think I have always been interested in science. I remember being fascinated by Mendel’s discovery of genetics in his work with peas. I was an amateur astronomer, often spending all night outside with my telescope exploring the heavens. In ninth grade my final science paper was on the theory of relativity.   Along with Albert Einstein, Carl Sagan, with his show Cosmos, and his being the public face of the Voyager missions, were my heroes.

Along with that rational, scientific side of me, there was also a quenchless thirst for “the answer” to my existence. I was raised Catholic, attended CCD until I was 17, and went on religious retreats. I would ask deep questions of the priests, like, if God is all powerful and is the only one who can forgive sins, as the Bible taught, then why did he need his son to die for all of our sins? Why couldn’t he just forgive them, along with the original sin? After several such questions, I was instructed to go to confession and pray for god’s guidance to accept the “truth” of the word revealed through the Catholic Church.

I became disillusioned with Catholicism and migrated to a generic Christianity. I also studied New Age, reading about Edgar Cayce and Shirley MacLaine’s books. Later I converted to Armenian Orthodox for my first marriage, but never really bought into any of the dogma, although I did love the beautiful artwork in the church and the gorgeous chanting of the Mass. Then, several years later, I converted to Islam after a consciousness altering epiphany.

The conversion to Islam was, in retrospect, fascinating. It was a great example of misinterpreting a powerful, subjective experience. It was Ramadan, the month that Muslims fast from sunup to sundown. This was around the Christmas holidays that year and I noticed that a co-worker, who was Muslim, was unable to eat all the great holiday food that was constantly being served at work. I decided to lookup so information about Ramadan which led me to some general info about Islam. As I was reading I saw a flash of light and seemed to hear a voice in my head say, “This is the way.” I soon converted to Islam, convinced that I’d had a revelation from god. Of course, as time went on, I saw that Islam was no different that any other religion I’d studied; just myths and dogma created by men. Still, I could not explain that “conversion” experience. After that I fell into a limbo of agnosticism.

Then one day, almost two years ago, I was searching flickr.com (I can’t remember what I was searching for) and came across Surly Amy’s page when I clicked on a picture of a model for her SurlyRamics products.   I don’t remember the particular product, but I do remember the model: Rebecca Watson.

There was a link from that picture of Rebecca to skepchick.org. From there, I discovered that she was a co-host of The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe.   I listened to every single episode of that podcast. I learned about skepticism and the people who are part of the skeptical community such as James Randi, Joe Nickell, Penn Jillette, and Greta Christia. It was from randi.org that I discovered the Fledgling Skeptic blog and it’s author, Maria Myrback.   She inspired me to start my own blog, freethinkingfordummies.com.

I suppose this isn’t really a “conversion” story in the classical sense of the word, but was the start of a wonderful journey that I hope will never end.

As for that epiphany; my “conversion on the road to Damascus”, as it were, I have finally, through using the tools of critical thinking, come to understand what most likely happened. Just this year I was diagnosed as bipolar. While describing my history to my psychiatrist, the conversion story came up. She told me that this was a fairly common occurrence for someone with untreated bipolar disorder. The flash of light and supposed voice I’d heard were both generated inside my brain due to abnormal chemical processes due to my bipolar disorder.

Now here I sit, a skeptical blogger and writer. I am more secure in myself and with my existence knowing that I don’t need any gods or magic or mysticism to be happy. Reason, empiricism, and critical thinking give me all I need to find my own answers to my existence.

 

Jay Walker is a skeptical writer whose work has been published in AIM Magazine and various local newspapers. He is also the author of the Freethinking For Dummies blog at http://freethinkingfordummies.com and is a regular contributor to this blog.