[Editor’s Note: As a precursor to The Amazing Meeting! 9, we have collected a series of stories from readers like you; people who have, through one means or another, discovered skepticism and critical thinking. These stories remind us that we all started somewhere and some of us are still finding our way as skeptics We have received so many submissions that we cannot fit them all in prior to TAM by posting them one at a time. If you are interested in contributing your own story, please submit your piece of around 1000 words to maria (at) randi.org along with a short 2-3 line bio
Today’s stories come from Michael and Mary]
My name is Michael. I wanted to share my story with you and possibly others to explain what it took for me to de-convert, and hopefully shed some light on the overly aggressive non-believers. I grew up in the Deep South, heavily indoctrinated. I didn't know anything about science because I was raised to not trust it. My creationism views were ingrained deeply.After 9/11 I decided that gods plan for me was to join the military and defend our Christian nation. After boot camp and technical school I was so disturbed by the environment that I debated quitting out of culture shock alone. I never realized that so many people weren't Christian, or even if they were- didn’t act like a Christian should according to my beliefs. I spent countless hours on the phone with my Pastor. I began to come up with questions that I never thought of before, mainly due to getting out of my zone of reinforcement. My questions, almost all inspired by intelligent skeptics went unanswered. Even though I secretly doubted, I acted as an apologist and used Christian apologist websites to make arguments. Eventually I shut down and secluded myself out.
This is why I sympathize with teens and young adults who struggle to understand, though defend their position aggressively. I wish that I could reach out to them and tell them that I'm here to listen, and they are not alone. I wish I could tell them all that they don't have to live like that. Mainly because I wished that I had someone to talk to as an adolescent.
I deployed to Iraq in 2008, and before my flight out it was the last time I talked to my pastor of 9 years. We talked for an hour or so and ended our last conversation with a prayer. My experience overseas changed my life forever. I couldn't understand my surroundings. I struggled to balance my beliefs with the world around me. I decided after much reading, investigating and praying that I no longer "knew" the answers- it was that point that I became a Christian skeptic. I began questioning everything- from the literal interpretation of the bible to the science behind our natural world. In the middle of my deployment was the last time I prayed. After more reading than I ever thought I was capable and too many conversations with a heartbroken family, I became an agnostic. For a year I was an active seeker. I educated myself with information on the Internet. I used sites and forums of people who were ex-Christians and those who weren't angry with me for my ignorance. I became an atheist after that year.
During my 4 yr quest for answers I encountered many atheists, some patient- but too many that hated me simply because I was still a "christian", struggling to understand. I held firmly to the few threads of religion I had left mainly because I was ignorant of my options. I became an atheist not because of angry insults, but with the love and compassion of those who were patient, and answered my questions and lead me to information that is useful for someone with such heavy indoctrination.
I guess the point of me writing this is that you can't help everyone, and you won't get anyone to examine their beliefs by intolerance and insults. You have to be patient, be useful with information and let those who may be "secret seekers" find their own way. Even if you think your discussion with a theist is pointless, you will almost always plant seeds. Those seeds may grow, or they may be snuffed out by some random ignorant logic from Kent Hovind prison videos. Either way, as an ex-Christian, that in my opinion is the best way to reach a believer.
Michael is a 28 year old Veteran and professional, husband and father of 2 young boys. They are a secular, science-based family living in Wyoming, a very intolerant area. In their spare time they attend secular conferences/meet-ups in Colorado. Michael also writes, though not publicly
Mary’s Story
First, let me preface this by saying that I am not a totally committed skeptic.
I still believe in God and I have tried to live my life in the way I believe God would want me to. I do not condemn those who do not share my belief in God; I accept that all of us are allowed to make up our own minds.
My story has to do with going from a thoroughly committed creationist to accepting Darwin's theory of evolution as a proven fact. Along with this, I now know that the Bible is not the infallible word of God but has its flaws particularly in the Old Testament.
When I was growing up, although I didn't go to church regularly, my parents did their best to raise me to be a Christian. Along with this I was taught to believe in the Genesis stories of creation and Noah and the ark. When I was 16 I found a newly formed church that met at my high school and started going more often. This church was a fairly liberal church but my acceptance of these stories was encouraged. Also, about this time, my brother who was a much more conservative Christian gave me the book "Evolution the Fossils Say NO". After reading this book I was convinced that "Scientific Creationism" as the phrase was at that time, was absolutely correct and I couldn't understand why anyone would accept evolution as a proven fact when it was perfectly obvious that
Creationism was the proven mechanism for creating the world and everything in it.
When I went to college, I met my husband to be. Although he was also a Christian, he was also a scientist. His major was chemistry with a minor in physics. Not too surprisingly we did not agree about evolution. We would sometimes have arguments about it when the subject came up on TV but pretty much we agreed to disagree.
My second time around in college I went to a community college where I decided that I was most interested in studying Archaeology. To go with my interest in Archaeology I took a Physical Anthropology class but although I aced the class it did not convince me to change my mind about Evolution. I was sure that the professor was misreading the evidence.
As a requirement to get my AA degree I had to take a critical thinking class. The semester term paper requirement was to write a paper on any topic where there were two disagreeing sides. We had to present both sides and then argue which side we concluded was correct and why. I chose Evolution as my topic fully expecting that after researching the arguments on both sides I would be able to faithfully argue that Scientific Creationism was the obviously correct theory.
Much to my surprise, I found after thoroughly researching both sides of the Evolution-Creationism debate, I came to a conclusion I never expected. Almost overnight I became a fervent supporter of Evolution. I realized after much research that the Creationist arguments just didn't make sense.
These days whenever I hear about people wanting Creationism or ID to be taught in schools my husband and I can both appreciate and support efforts to keep science in schools and fight efforts to thwart it. I live in a very conservative state and I keep expecting the subject to come up here. When that time comes I feel fully equipped to fight on the side of Science.
Mary graduated from Western Connecticut State University with a BA in Anthropology-Sociology about 7 years after her critical thinking class at Riverside Community College.